How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 30.06.2025 06:48

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By taking turns talking.

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By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

My boss called me on a Saturday to let me know he that due to financial reasons, I was no longer needed effective immediatley. 3 days later, he sends me a text asking about work issues. How do I respond?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.